Alexandra Sholler, that's the real name behind Alison Wonderland, fearlessly explores all her vulnerabilities in her latest album. Titled "Awake," the artist shares that this marks a new awakening in her life after confronting personal issues, depression, anxiety, and abusive relationships.
"I have to write what I'm feeling in extreme happiness or extreme sadness. This album is about rediscovering self-worth, having self-confidence. Being close to things that were very toxic for me really knocked me down for a long time, and I realized that I finally had the strength and the choice to get out of that. I truly hope that when you hear this album, the songs somehow speak to you to say that you are not alone, and you can find the strength to get out of something bad."
The album also showcases her musical growth. "I just wanted to push myself further on this album," she explains. "Vocally, I can hear a huge difference. I am much more comfortable with my voice now." (...) "Awake is about waking up, making peace with yourself, and moving forward," she adds. "I feel like I've grown. I still have anxiety, but I also have much more clarity about life. I've learned that I can stand up for myself."
The artist has opened up on her social media in recent weeks to discuss each of her songs on this album. With a worldwide release this Friday (06), AWAKE features 14 diverse tracks featuring rappers Trippie Redd, Chief Keef, and Buddy, as well as producers and composers Joel Little, Illangelo, Lido, Party Favor, Slumberjack; among others involved in the project.
It's clear her evolution compared to her debut album "RUN" released in 2015. All the effort involved in this production and the more than personal touch she put into it make each track unique. Without exaggeration, this is one of the most anticipated releases in the electronic scene for this year, already topping the list of best things of 2018.
Amidst chaos, Awake became an outlet for Alison. Where she turned her struggles into music and finally found hope to get out of it all. And now she's ready to awaken to the world.
Listen:
Check out what the artist has to say about some of the tracks:
Easy
"This song is really meaningful to me... I wrote this song about a real incident that happened. I woke up feeling very, very depressed, borderline suicidal. I quietly walked to the bathroom and closed the door and sat quietly on the floor and cried for about an hour... Sometimes you get into these thoughts where you're like, 'Go away, find someone easier! I'm shit.' When I played this song for people, they were like, 'Are you okay?' ... And it's probably one of my favorite songs on the album."
Church
"I was around people who weren't good for me; toxic people who weren't treating me well, emotionally abusive personality disorders made me feel very weak. This was the song that led me to get out of that. No one should feel guilty for being mistreated by someone who supposedly loves you... I really wanted someone to treat me like someone who goes to church treats the church. I'm not a religious person, so it was a weird thing to write, but it was the first thing that came to my mind. I felt like screaming at this person 'I wish you would treat me like a church! Praise me, make me feel like I'm worth something.'"
Happy Place
"I was in deep depression for a while. In the verse it says: Give up these voices, Silence my mind, we all have choices, where can I find my happy place. This happened when I was in a dark state of mind; You are so alone in your own head, there are some terrible choices that could have been made, but I decided to choose to reach out to my friends... They ended up pulling me out of it and saving me. (...) I wrote about me trying to find my Happy Place. I wrote about making choices. (...) 'I've never been in such a dark place, I hope that when people hear the music they know that there are ways out of this and that it can be good.'(...) I hope that when I release, it speaks to you and helps bring light. This entire song is my humble request to try to feel something again. (...) 'I'm literally trying to feel something, this is me getting to the point where I'm trying to look for something that helps me get out of this. I'm sure a lot of people out there can relate to this — depression is not a rare thing, mental illness is not a rare thing and we will all feel something like this at some point in our lives.'
Dreamy Dragon
"Originally I made the instrumental for this track because I was trying to see what other genres I could produce. I had done this as a side project while listening to Jamie xx's 'All Under One Roof Raving.' I wanted to make it sound weird, like a House-meets-Break Beat, and I walked into the studio with Chef Keef, who is a genius, by the way. By the way, Imagine me walking into a studio with Chef Keef and Molly, my dog. (Laughs) I was so nervous to meet and work with him because I thought he wouldn't think I was very cool. As he was really enjoying that night, he ended up staying in the studio with me for five hours. The guy is experimental and open to anything. I was expecting him to want to do trap, but no way, Chef Keef wanted to do something different and I respected the hell out of that."
HIGH
"When he heard this song it was very organic and he jumped on it and we came out feeling like we had something special. I felt like this song had a certain spirit and wanted people to feel like they were going on a crazy trip with us... especially when watching the music video."